Writer's Vibe

Where Literary Get It's Groove On!

This one is for the ladies.

My grandma used to say, “You can catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar.” When I was a kid, I wondered why in the heck do we want flies anyway, but after I became older and started dating, I understood the phrase clearly.

Too often, (I am about to generalize), I have seen women become frustrated in their relationships because they often see their man doing the opposite of what they want him to do.  A woman that nags to her significant other ends up pushing him away, rather then pulling him in. I will put it this way; a kind word will get you further.

Let’s take the famous situation of trying to get things done around the house. Well, for some reason, we see time and time again women taking the “nag” approach. That is definitely vinegar and not sugar. Persuasion has a better effect. For instance, if you know your man does not like to take the trash you can say, “I love it when you take out the trash. I love seeing your muscles bulge.” Or when you want him to do certain things around the house, you can make certain statements like, “You are so manly; I love when you take charge and do things.”

Remember this; a man loves it when a woman gives him compliments. Compliments will get a man to do some things he wouldn’t do otherwise.  This is because women still do not realize that the statement “Flattery will get you every where” also applies to men. While men tend to act arrogant, or even cocky, deep inside they have the same need to be recognized for who they are just like women do. This includes a nice compliment now and then. The power of a positive response always overcomes negative reinforcement. So in other words, telling your man how strong he looks throwing away that old couch works much better then constantly bickering about how he needs to get it out the house.

This concept goes even further in making a man believe he wears the pants in the relationship. You will get much further with him if he is under the impression that he runs things. There is an actual art to making your man think it was his idea to paint the garage, or go shopping at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Now, I can’t give you all the secrets, but I can tell you that a positive attitude in your relationship always works better then negative reinforcement.  All that complaining and moaning about stuff will only make your man tune you out.  Try being nice to him and see the results.

Oh, I have to point out that flirting with your man also does wonders. Why people in relationships forget about flirting once they have been together for a while is beyond me. Saying something slick to your mate now and then does wonders. Men respond to physical, visual, and audio senses. Say the right thing using the right body language, and you will see a huge difference. You want to move the living room around in a different way or patch a hole in the roof; try flirting. It will get you want you want before nagging will. 

Try the sugar instead of vinegar; I think you will like the results.


Written By: Jason Luntz



Edited By: Kenya Mack


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